Going Through It

Going Through It - Ilhan Omar

Tracy: This is Going Through It. A show about women who found themselves in situations where they said, no uh-uh and they made a decision to make a change and turn something around. I’m your host, Tracy Clayton…

Tracy: OK. So mine is... crazy as a rat in a coffee can. Does it sound-- have you heard that before?

Ilhan: I have not.

Tracy: OK.

Tracy: That’s Congresswoman Ilhan Omar. I’m sitting with her in her office on Capitol Hill. She’s trading idioms with me - just two black girls talking the way their mama’s would.

Ilhan: Like, jittery, excited about something?

Tracy: Mm hmm. Yeah.

Ilhan: Is that what it means? Okay.

Tracy: OKKK, Ilhan I see you, I thought I was going to pull out some trickery... Her turn.

Ilhan: recites Somali idiom which basically mean which in English is a monkey is never-- able to notice its own like behind, but notices the behinds of other monkeys.

Tracy: Monkey butts are exactly how I wanted to get this conversation going with the Congresswoman.

Tracy: Oh, I know what that one means. Everybody's got one but they don’t think theirs smells bad.

Ilhan: OK.

Tracy: I mean am I in the ballpark? Kinda sorta? Ilhan: Yeah yeah. I mean, it's basically like the fact that, right, we are easy to recognize the flaws of others and are never willing to recognize our own flaws.

Tracy: Mm hmm.

Ilhan: Which is a human flaw.

Tracy: Ilhan Omar is the first Somali American in Congress. She’s the first black muslim woman in Congress. So many firsts. And we’ll get there. Now, mind you - this conversation happened before Geroge Flyod and Breonna Taylor were killed, It happened before Ilhan’s lost her dad due to Covid-19. A lot can happen in a couple months. When I sat down with Ilhan - we talked about a very specific moment - when she realized the America she dreamed of and the one she got were VERY different.

Ilhan: So when you're going through the process of immigrating to the United States, it's a very long process.

Tracy: There’s a lot involved- Tests. Lots of dates to remember, lots of facts to memorize. And then they showed her a tape of an American family at what looked like Thanksgiving. You know, a table full of food with a beautiful roasted chicken or a turkey. You know, happy family around. kids who are beautifully dressed, getting on a brand new school bus. Beautiful homes, white picket fences. You know, amazing looking shopping centers.

Ilhan: The American dream.

Tracy: But when Ilhan and her family got to America- they ain’t see no roasted turkeys.

Ilhan: We landed in New York City. And so one of the first things I saw as our car was driving from the airport to the hotel was people sleeping on the side of the streets and literal trash everywhere. To have that be your first image is really jarring. And it shows a complete contrast to everything you'd believe you would witness when you first came

Tracy: The fact that there were two different America’s is something that she never got over But it’s also sparked a desire to participate - to organize. To help bridge the gap between these two worlds. And that, friends and family, is what Ilhan Omar and I talked about in that office on Capitol Hill.

Tracy: THIS. Is Going Through It.

Tracy: Yeah. I can't imagine how confusing it must have been to have gotten here and been like this is--they sent me to like a different planet.

Ilhan: Yeah. I mean, I literally said that to my father. I said, this does not look like the America you had promised.

Tracy: We got lost somewhere.

Ilhan: Yeah.

Tracy: You know, we took a wrong turn.

Ilhan: And he said, “Hush, child. We will get-- we will get our America.” And I'm still working on getting to that America that was on that video. So we’ll see.

Tracy: What is your earliest memory?

Ilhan: It’s odd because I don’t have a lot of memories that are chronological. And I suppose it's because, right. I've moved a lot. And went through a lot of trauma. But a lot of like my childhood happy memories are around us eating and listening to Radio Mogadishu, which was the local radio. Like, BBC or NPR here.And we would listen to it as a family around lunchtime and at the end, right after they did their programming, they would play songs and our family was a lover of music. And so they would make the you know, they would make the males and females often do a lot of the duet songs. Somalis are known for a lot of their duets. There’s always like a lot of duets playing on the radio. And so my--my aunties and uncles and my brothers and my sisters would sort of do that. And so that was always fun to know who could carry a tune, who couldn’t. Who had the ability like sing along and who couldn’t.And, you know, and we make fun of one another. And it was always a very joyous. And then like the neighbors. Sometimes with--yeah

Tracy: Yeah. That sounds like the kind of family I wish--

Ilhan: Sometimes would come around. We also lived by the market, the souk. And--so there was always a lot of people just stopping by because the door was always open as we ate.

Tracy: Aw.

Ilhan: Yeah, in the courtyard.

Tracy: What did you know about immigrating to America? What you did at the age of 12, yes? What did you understand about the move and why you had to leave?

Ilhan: Yeah, so we we’re living in a refugee camp. And so what I knew was it was going to be an opportunity for us to have a normalized life. For me in particular, it was an opportunity to go to school, to get an education. And it was gonna be an opportunity for us to be safe and to reorient our future and have path to prosperity.

Tracy: What was the camp like?

Ilhan: You know, just like most of the refugee camps, I was in a camp in Mombasa, Kenya. So the one thing that was unique was that in most camps that you see pictures of now they're in a desert-like setting. And ours wasn't really that way. It was a coastal. Mombasa is a coastal city. And so there was some lush trees at times. And there was like a dirty river or something like that. That was like a pond that was nearby. There was a lot of mosquitoes. People were dying of malaria and food-related illnesses. And so I just have memories of seeing more death in the camp than I did doing war in Somalia.

Tracy: When did--when did America start to feel like home for you and your family?

Ilhan: Yeah, no. This--this is home and it has been home for a really long time. I mean, my concept of home is is where your heart feels at peace, where your surroundings are familiar to you, where you are around people that you love and feel loved by. And, you know, I would say around end of--end of seventh grade//eighth grade, I started to feel that. I could have-- I could actually communicate with my classmates, with my teachers, you know, with my principal who who so desperately was was working to make sure that I had that I was adjusting to life in America. And I think for for me, you know, the ability to communicate was a life altering thing for me, because I'm I'm somebody who loves to talk. I'm somebody who understands that regardless of what our differences are,right. As long as we're able to have a conversation.

Tracy: Right.

Ilhan: You know, we--we will connect at some level. And so to-- to have to not have the ability to connect with my classmates and with the people in my school--

Tracy: Sounds frustrating.

Ilhan: Yeah, it was quite, quite frustrating. And once I was able to do that, really, I felt at peace with myself and--and was able to create a home for myself.

Tracy: Yeah, and now you're in a field where--pardon me--now you're in a field where communication is key and necessary. The good ole field of politics, which in my research I read that your father and grandfather were instrumental in introducing you to politics and getting you interested there. How did they do that?

Ilhan: Yeah. I mean, they were, you know, excited about one unique aspect of America that was more often talked about in our way here and and, you know, as we adjusted to life here. And that was the ability to vote and the ability to participate in this democracy. It's one that they'd worked really hard to have in their lives. And one that was denied to them. And so they wanted to make sure that they could do that as as soon as possible. And I was, you know, one of the children who kind of glued themselves to that aspect of their aspirations-- of being an American.

Tracy: Well, you sure did stick to it. I’ll tell you that. You are now the first Somali American to be elected--...I’ll do that again. I just want to make sure I don't get this wrong. You are now the first Somali American to be elected into the U.S. House of Representatives and one of the first Muslim women to be elected into the House as well. I grew up in a pretty white place, and most of the people that most of my friends of color also know what it's like to be the only black person in a room or only brown person in a room. It's a great honor, but also very stressful. It must be. What was the most stressful part about that for you?

Ilhan: You know, Ayanna Pressley, the congresswoman from Massachusetts said something to me and and to Rashida and Alex as we were having dinner. And one of the things she said was in quoting, I suppose a poet or, you know, someone fabulous as she always does, that the greatest agony is being misunderstood. And I think, you know, I am perpetually taken out of context and and misunderstood. Everybody wants to put their their own ideas and vision for me onto me.

Tracy: Right.

Ilhan: And to, you know, be something for Somalis, too, for the ones that are progressive and the ones that are not for immigrants, for refugees, for you know, the African diaspora who now get the have right they're also first member of Congress. Because I'm also the first person in Congress to have ever been born in Africa. to be visibly Muslim comes with a lot of ideas of who you're supposed to be and what you are and what you can do. And so all of that, I think, sets up a really atrocious environment where you're constantly trying to say like, hello, this is who I am. Can I introduce myself, but never really get the opportunity to, because regardless of how you start a sentence and how you finish, people will hear it, have their own interpretations for it and have assumptions about how you came up with whatever sentence you just uttered. Put assumptions on your thought process, make decisions for you, you know, because of what you look like and where you might have been born and all of that. Because when you are dealing with someone that is a complete unicorn, rightly, there is no there is no way to say, like, you know, this person served dadadada before.

Tracy: Yeah.

Ilhan: Maybe this makes sense. Maybe it doesn't and so people are constantly trying to say, I am this and I'm that. And I really don't have the patience to to try to constantly defend my ideas-- my identity as I defend my policy ideas.

Tracy: This actually blends perfectly into my next question. Which is basically how are you? Like, how do you deal with those frustrations? How do you deal with not having the patience for it? How do you remember who you are when people are trying to get you to be this person and that person like, are you taking care of yourself at the end of the day? How do you take care of yourself at the end of the day?

Ilhan: Yeah, I mean, I think there is. Something peaceful about existing in a space where you completely know who you are and what is driving you? Because I think if you are deprived of that, then all of the voices get to penetrate your psyche. And because I am someone who, you know, had had to deal with the challenges of coming of age in a new country that sort of never really had an understanding of every identity you carry. I had to develop a strong sense of of me in order to survive and not lose my smile. And and, you know, my father was very much focused on that--in developing and making me understand, right. Like where my sense of pride and an identity should be rooted in. at the end of the day. You know, they're their assumptions are just going to make an ass of them. And I'm pretty cool in sleeping well and looking at myself in the mirror with pride.

Tracy: I love it. I love it. What has your first year in Congress taught you about yourself?

Ilhan: Flexibility. And, you know, you can not have control over much when you are in elected office. You don't really fully control your schedule. You don't control what time you go to bed.

Tracy: Oh, that’s sounds incredibly stressful to me right now.

Ilhan: So it's all all of these things that right, as you grow into adulthood that you have learned to master, that kind of go out the door. And the and the ability to not fully sit and digest your meal, but to be OK with that is it's a full adjustment for me and and the fact that I'm not driven crazy by that, I would say it's a growth.

Tracy: I wish to beyond wishing that we have more time. There's so much stuff that I would love to chitchat with you about, but I understand that you are a very busy and important woman. Should you ever get another minute? You know, you just want to hang around and chitchat

Ilhan: See what I said about control over things? Because if I had control over things we would continue this conversation.

Tracy: Well, I feel like we’ll have a chance to continue it one day.

Ilhan: Yeah, this is us being flexible now.

Tracy: Yes! I'm already learning. Look!

Ilhan: It’s wonderful.

Tracy: Congresswoman, it's been a pleasure talking to you. Thank you so much for being so kind with your time.

Ilhan: Thank you so much for having me. It's been a great chat.

Tracy: Rejecting the noise and standing strong in who YOU know you are can be REALLY hard- but Ilhan DID that. So friends and family, let US pivot to the part of the show where I break things down with my girls - the ones who get me! There’s nothing like kicking it with people who just GET IT - you know?So over some good food and good drinks at my cozy apartment in Brooklyn, I had some of my best friends over to talk about when home begins to FEEL like home.

Nichole: My first place I had a big blue, it was like a light blue couch, and it reminded me of my grandparents couch. When I was little. So I think that nostalgia of it made it feel like home. And then I had these beautiful bookcases. I had only two walls of books. And this beautiful. I loved it so much!

Tracy: It was beautiful!

Drea: I had a similar memory that wanted those quantum Black Panther chairs like the grandmother had one. And she never let us sit in it. So I was like Imma get one of my own.

Nichole: So I read, though, that that's how people make their homes. They think of the stuff from their childhood that gave them peace and they do some kind of adult version of it.

Bim: So every place I've lived just felt like home. I don't really. Yeah. Every place I made by myself has felt like I'm the only person I need to make him do it. Like, I I sometimes make things for my home. So I'll. So some curtains or. I'll buy a different cushion cover. I'll make a cushion cover or something. But I think making something having something made by my own hands in my own place is usually helpful. But generally, I don't even need that.

Trent: I have a hard time calling something the place that I live, something other than what it is like my apartment, my house. If I catch myself calling at home, it feels weird because you're usually the only one. I really say home is like if I'm going to visit my mom. She don't even live in the place where we grew up. But that still to me means homeless for you.

Tracy: Home is where ya momma is, isn’t that what they say?

BIM: Who's they?

Tracy: Whatchmacalit and dem. You know who I’m talmbout, from around the corner!

laughter

Tracy: Thank you so much for tuning in! Going Through it is an original series brought to you by Mailchimp, Pineapple Street Studios, and me! Executive Producers for Going Through It are Jenna Weiss-Berman, Max Linsky and Agarenesh Ashagre. Our lead producer is Josh Gwynn. Production by Jess Jupiter with production support by Janelle Anderson. Our editor is the just always so jazzy t Lee-lah Day. Also - thanks to the voices of folks you heard sound off in the episode! Let’s hear those names! Our original music is by Dow -ud Anthony and Our Engineer is Hannis Brown. Special Thanks to Eleanor Kagan for being the alpha! The origin! Stay in touch! Find me on Twitter at brokeymcpoverty. Tell your friends about the show! Make sure to rate and subscribe to Going Through It on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and wherever free podcasts are sold! And that’s our show! We’ll see you next week.